Sunday, 26 August 2018

Game By Game - 9

A United View welcomes fellow #runnerblade , director of Pickard Tours and all round bon vivant Alan Pickard to offer up his views on a trip to the Bolton Polytechnic Stadium. Surprisingly less hazy than I expected!

Game 9 - Bolton (A), Championship - 0-3

Bolton away. Bank Holiday Weekend. Super. That'll be fun then. I'm sure you all thought the same. Aside from the fact it's a ground that has slightly less character than Legoland, it's not even in Bolton. Imagine, building a new ground and forgetting where you're from? Anyway......I digress.

The trip started well. I forgot my beers. Sake. On the coach at 9 though with emergency Carling (AUV cannot condone drinking Carling, even in an emergency - Ed) purchased, spirits were high. As always when you travel with mates, talk turns to previous away days and mishaps. But I'd not brought my gloves today so enough of that. 

Let's head to a pub.
It opens at eleven doesn't it Paul?
Oh, turns out it doesn't.
Paul can't read.
Half eleven.
Maths was never his strong point. Luckily another a hundred yards up the road was open so let's have one there instead. Decent. Let's get merry.

Everyone back on the coach at 2 and we're off. Good job the driver knows which car park to go to. And we've not toured all the car parks before arriving at the away end! Been here so many times and it's soulless. One thought - let's have these today Blades. 

Team news filters through. Oooh! That midfield is getting uploaded to Pornhub.....and Coutts ain't back yet.

The game kicks off and United are instantly on the front foot. Get in!!! Or not. Off the bar from Fleck. We were on top here and had to make it count. Another corner cam in looking threatening but it came to nothing. Next attack saw a good little bit of play, the ball fell to Duffy and in it goes to the corner of the onion bag. The tone is set. "We're gonna hammer these". first thought was lets keep a clean sheet. 

More good play followed. Flowing movement across the park, Norwood and Fleck making the Wanderers look like non-league players at times. Duffy popping up in more places than Peter Sutcliffe. The difference in quality is vast and United are hammering the point home. Bolton have a 5 minute spell. Ameeeobbeee looks like the only half decent player for Bolton but, to be fair, he needs a mate.

Blades attack. Ball into Freeman 15 yard out, right of goal. A 10 yard ball into Leon's feet who has the vision of Zidane to leave it and let it roll in the corner of the net. Suprise and delirium take over the away end. WE'RE ON THE MARCH WITH WILDERS ARRR-MY.

Half time. Two nowt. Well on top. Tidy in possession and playing with the kind of thrust that creates WhatsApp groups.
Downstairs for a pint and I missed about 8 minutes of the second half due to Ed not being able to navigate a queue properly. Anyway, I've been informed by my footy mum Bridgette that McGoldrick smashed one top bins only for the keeper to rise like Conor Sammon's more agile brother and tip it over.

Much more flowing football followed. We were very good today and it's such a shame that the following wasn't more, but those in attendance made good noise.

After a slight lull we did our best Barcelona impression. Wonderful build up from the back. The ball broke on the left to Stevens who's delightful delivery caused pandemonium in the box, Bolton nowhere to be seen, Fleck sweeps home. Be seeing you. Is this a fire drill? 

Beyond that, we were in even more control. We could and should have been 4 or 5 up really. Much singing followed and I've got to be honest here, I'm glad it wasn't. Let's not draw attention to how good we can be as early as we did last season. Three nowt. Full time. Off home we go delighted with the performance and result.

Stopping off on the way home we bump into Gary Madine in the services. He seemed happy to see us.

Up the Blades. 

Three final thoughts:

Egan. 4 million. Bargain.

Norwood. 2 million. Steal.

Billy Sharp is as good now as he was in his mid twenties. Captain Marvel.

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