Game by Game - 14

Game 14 – Millwall (A), Championship – 2-3

So we welcome back Alan Pickard to A United View, his Bolton Game by Game report being one of the most read so far. 

An early train to The Smoke, crap beer all day, a good pinch of snuff and a fantastic Blades win are a heady mix. As I flicked between match feeds at home, the fancam view on Facebook was frequently blocked by the back of Alan's head and the match soundtracked by his increasingly hoarse voice telling Millwall that they aren't scary anymore.  So when his stream of consciousness (along with the thoughts of fell Blades in Coach C of the 18:34 out of St Pancras) landed in the AUV inbox on Saturday night I anticipated a bit of an editing job would be in order..... 

It's started well. Train to Donny and iPhone Dave has spotted fellow AUV corespondent Tyrone, who is sat behind us. Selfie secured (without Tyrone knowing, ahem....that's Dave - Ed) and Fosters in hand. (Again AUV cannot condone the drinking of Fosters at all, nevermind when Jaipur now comes in cans - Ed). The day is off. To. A. Flyer.

Milwall away, and thoughts are cast back to the Warnock era. "SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR FUCKING MUSCAT THAT". Seriously though, I've never seen us win here, not sure that will change today. Anyway, back on the train and Player of the Season so far is up for debate. Votes, from the committee go to....

McGoldrick x 5

Norwood x 2

Stevens x 1

Bash x 1

Hendo x 1

So there we are. That seems conclusive, the player that half the support turned to social media to bemoan when he joined is the man. (Although, his scoring record is under threat from our mate Ed). What we all agreed on is that Norwood coming in has improved us ten-fold.

So, onto the match. It started with United on the front foot, trying to force the issue, but with the all too familiar situation of when the Duff Man can't unlock the door, nobody else seems able to step up to the plate. Or at least step up and deliver with any conviction.

The pressure is rewarded with a corner. A short corner is played in and back out again, Oli Norwood, he's fucking reyt good, puts one in the box son. And its a penalty. Phil reckons it was crossed by Stevens (Phil had clearly been on stronger stuff than Fosters - Ed). Anyway, Billy missed. Well, Amos saved really, but didn't fancy his run up. Didn't look confident at all. Sake.

I've walked down the stairs to get a beer, and then hear a cheer. For fuck's sake we've scored. This happened last year too. I've missed it again. Get in Billy you beautiful beautiful man. I would have your babies....

Half time. 

Second half. The first ten minutes of the second half has been voted (by the committee) as:

Stressful.

Shit.

Atrocious.

Wank.

Abysmal. 

Anyway, somehow we're 2 - 1 down and I'm not really sure how. I really can't wait to type this next bit.

Once things settled down, we got into a rhythm. Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, come on down, it's McGoldrick time.

Intricate passing between our midfield maestros, leads to a push on the Duff man. And it's another penalty. That man McGoldrick has big balls. Steps up. 2-2. G'wan babbi. The steward, who is an Arsenal fan, appreciated my turbo snuff post celebration.

There's only going to be one winner now. A one two on the right hand side is cut across the box by the main man Mark Duffy, straight into the path of that man again. McGoldrick slots home and 1,400 Blades are delirious, maybe nearly as much as Hendo at the other end of the pitch. We've deserved that. Final whistle and chants of Oohhh David McGoldrick ring around Bermondsey. Off home we go. iPhone Dave has purchased half of M&S and were all happy. UTB!

Four final thoughts from Coach C: 

Kirsti - Deserved victory but we made hard work of it and didn't start second half well. (Can always rely on Kirsti to list two negatives out of three points on a 3-2 away win! - Ed)

Paul - McGoldrick is proving a very good purchase. (He cost £19.99 less than this - Ed)

JB - It is really refreshing for United to dig themselves out of a hole. Holes that more often than not last season we were unable to get out of. And we've now done that twice in the last week. 

AP - Were winning games we'd have lost last season. Keep the faith. 

Photo - Copyright David Kirkham

Game By Game - 9

A United View welcomes fellow #runnerblade , director of Pickard Tours and all round bon vivant Alan Pickard to offer up his views on a trip to the Bolton Polytechnic Stadium. Surprisingly less hazy than I expected!

Game 9 - Bolton (A), Championship - 0-3

Bolton away. Bank Holiday Weekend. Super. That'll be fun then. I'm sure you all thought the same. Aside from the fact it's a ground that has slightly less character than Legoland, it's not even in Bolton. Imagine, building a new ground and forgetting where you're from? Anyway......I digress.

The trip started well. I forgot my beers. Sake. On the coach at 9 though with emergency Carling (AUV cannot condone drinking Carling, even in an emergency - Ed) purchased, spirits were high. As always when you travel with mates, talk turns to previous away days and mishaps. But I'd not brought my gloves today so enough of that. 

Let's head to a pub.
It opens at eleven doesn't it Paul?
Oh, turns out it doesn't.
Paul can't read.
Half eleven.
Maths was never his strong point. Luckily another a hundred yards up the road was open so let's have one there instead. Decent. Let's get merry.

Everyone back on the coach at 2 and we're off. Good job the driver knows which car park to go to. And we've not toured all the car parks before arriving at the away end! Been here so many times and it's soulless. One thought - let's have these today Blades. 

Team news filters through. Oooh! That midfield is getting uploaded to Pornhub.....and Coutts ain't back yet.

The game kicks off and United are instantly on the front foot. Get in!!! Or not. Off the bar from Fleck. We were on top here and had to make it count. Another corner cam in looking threatening but it came to nothing. Next attack saw a good little bit of play, the ball fell to Duffy and in it goes to the corner of the onion bag. The tone is set. "We're gonna hammer these". However...my first thought was lets keep a clean sheet. 

More good play followed. Flowing movement across the park, Norwood and Fleck making the Wanderers look like non-league players at times. Duffy popping up in more places than Peter Sutcliffe. The difference in quality is vast and United are hammering the point home. Bolton have a 5 minute spell. Ameeeobbeee looks like the only half decent player for Bolton but, to be fair, he needs a mate.

Blades attack. Ball into Freeman 15 yard out, right of goal. A 10 yard ball into Leon's feet who has the vision of Zidane to leave it and let it roll in the corner of the net. Suprise and delirium take over the away end. WE'RE ON THE MARCH WITH WILDERS ARRR-MY.

Half time. Two nowt. Well on top. Tidy in possession and playing with the kind of thrust that creates WhatsApp groups.

Downstairs for a pint and I missed about 8 minutes of the second half due to Ed not being able to navigate a queue properly. Anyway, I've been informed by my footy mum Bridgette that McGoldrick smashed one top bins only for the keeper to rise like Conor Sammon's more agile brother and tip it over.

Much more flowing football followed. We were very good today and it's such a shame that the following wasn't more, but those in attendance made good noise.

After a slight lull we did our best Barcelona impression. Wonderful build up from the back. The ball broke on the left to Stevens who's delightful delivery caused pandemonium in the box, Bolton nowhere to be seen, Fleck sweeps home. Be seeing you. Is this a fire drill? 

Beyond that, we were in even more control. We could and should have been 4 or 5 up really. Much singing followed and I've got to be honest here, I'm glad it wasn't. Let's not draw attention to how good we can be as early as we did last season. Three nowt. Full time. Off home we go delighted with the performance and result.

Stopping off on the way home we bump into Gary Madine in the services. He seemed happy to see us.

Up the Blades. 

Three final thoughts:

Egan. 4 million. Bargain.

Norwood. 2 million. Steal.

Billy Sharp is as good now as he was in his mid twenties. Captain Marvel.