My Dislikable XI - Number 5 (Isaac Ashe - Goaltastic)

Welcome to Isaac Ashe of Goaltastic who proffers the 5th Dislikable XI for your delectation. With some succinct and irrational reasoning and a little Lion abuse, but not the kind that would get Zoo Check visiting. 

Picking an all time favourite XI - piece of cake.

Picking a most hated - actually quite hard.

It’s no fun dredging up all that negative emotion, remembering being annoyed and agitated and frustrated and let down by players - as a result you may notice a strong England theme to my picks...

Goalkeeper Rob Green

This was probably the hardest position to pick  - I feel pity, not hate, for keepers. They’re like bass players in bands, they’re fall guys. But I went for Rob Green because he definitely lost England the World Cup. All on his own. And he didn’t even look bothered.

Left Back Ashley Cole

Despite being told to steer clear of obvious targets, I cannot avoid the inclusion of the continuously moaning, spoilt little prat that is Ashley Cole. Sorry.

Central Defender Rio Ferdinand 
#get #off #twitter #for #a #bit #and #concentrate #on #your #rapidly #declining #football #career

Central Defender John Terry 

Despite being a pretty decent - if slow - defender, there’s no way that Terry should be an automatic starter at Chelsea with the likes of Luiz, Alex and Ivanovic as competition, let alone as England’s captain, as he seems to think is his divine right.

Right Back Dani Alves

Another clearly talented player with attacking skills to match most forwards - but dives on contact, rolls like he’s been shot and then moans like a spoilt four-year-old for a yellow card. It’s embarrassing to watch.

Right Wing Arjen Robben
How has one-footed Robben reached the lofty peaks he has in the world game? If any defenders are reading this, he’s going to cut inside and shoot. Every time.

Central Midfield Doriva

Middlesbrough have signed a Brazilian midfielder? Really, that’s exciting. Can’t wait to see him play. Oh.

Central Midfield Gareth Barry

The most boring that someone who could be described as a mercenary could ever be.

Left Wing Theo Walcott

The English Djibril Cisse, an expert in running in straight lines and then thumping the ball. Sadly for Walcott he has to do this on the wing, so is not immediately in front of goal when the thumping occurs. And he’s about 12 years old so we’re going to have to endure this for years to come.

Striker Emile Heskey

The most frustrating forward to watch ever. Can’t score, can’t hold the ball up, can barely stand up for any length of time. There are half a dozen goalkeepers with a better goals-to-games ratio than sorry Emile.

Striker David Villa 

Is a striker for the best club side and best national side in the game, yet manages not to be a prolific goalscorer - what gives? Plus he has that stupid bit of fluff on his chin.

Manager Pep Guardiola

Has a record to match any manager out there - not surprising, as he’s only ever managed ruddy Barcelona. I reckon even I could have won a few trophies starting out a managerial career there. Please someone send him to Partick Thistle or somewhere for a season or two.

Previous Dislikable XIs:

No. 1 - A United View

No. 2 - The Two Unfortunates (Lanterne Rouge)

No. 3 - 9-Men
No. 4 - William Abbs

Up next:
No. 6 - Football Charlie

No. 5 - Goaltastic (Isaac Ashe)