Tuesday, 21 June 2011

My Dislikable XI - Number 6 (Football Charlie)

The sixth of our Dislikable XIs comes courtesy of Charlie Johnson aka @FootballCharlie . Owner of the From the Depths site, guest blogger for many others and Sky Sports FanZone blogger on Huddersfield Town, several on field nemeses of the Terriers make it into his team.

Goalkeeper Paddy Kenny

Now this is perhaps an unfounded one, but I struggled to think of a goalkeeper I don’t like. However, now I think of it, I’ve never liked Kenny, and it was based purely on looks alone, an ugly looking bloke who just seemed unpleasant.

In addition, after Sheffield United stood by him during his drugs ban, he buggered off to QPR, and left them with a long line of fairly bad keepers. I don’t know the ins and outs of the deal but I think he owed United more loyalty. 

Right Back Bradley Orr

Hard not to go for Gary Neville here, but I just think he’s amusing really, and I’m trying not to be too obvious.

Now this goes back to his time at Bristol City, where he got into an altercation during a match with Huddersfield with star striker Pawel Abbott, my memory is hazy but I think he tried to head butt him, and I can’t remember a more snarling, nasty player off the opposition in many years.
Orr also ended up in jail for affray.

Centre Back John Terry

I’m sorry, I know it’s obvious but I just cannot ignore him. He always reminds me of the vile bloke down the pub who interrupts your conversation to tell a joke that nobody finds funny, before sticking around to ruin the night, whilst everyone else just hopes they go away.

Never as good as people claim, a whinging little sulk merchant when he doesn’t get his own way, as demonstrated at the World Cup, and the fact that his performance levels dropped when he’s not captain.

Centre Back Keith Curle

Now here is a surprise for you all, but I found Keith Curle to be one of the dirtiest players of the game I’ve ever witnessed. During a Huddersfield vs. Barnsley game, John Thorrington, a nippy winger of little repute, was chasing down a ball and Curle was never going to catch him, however when he did reach him, Curle jabbed a finger straight in Thorrington’s eye.

He was also a cocky, unpleasant manager, who was far too confident, and beating his Mansfield team in the play off final over a year after the eye poke was an extra bonus to a great day.

Left Back Kevin Sharp

One of the worst players I’ve ever seen play football, and when you consider he was brought in to replace the awful Gareth Evans in Huddersfield’s defence then that says something.

Now signing a player who was instrumental in getting a club relegated is never a good sign and so it proved. He was hopeless, and was part of the worst Huddersfield Town side I’ve ever witnessed, and that is saying something.

Hopeless, cocky, and with dyed blonde hair, need I go on?

Left Midfield Jay Tabb

Let it never be said that I don’t hold a grudge, but some years ago Huddersfield played Brentford in one of the most exciting games of football that I have ever witnessed.

At 2-1 down with a matter of minutes remaining Tabb hit the deck in suspicious looking circumstances, on rushed the physio who took the injured Tabb to the sidelines in front of the Huddersfield fans. The usual chants of “cheat” cheat” echoed round the stands to which Brentford’s aggressive physio and Tabb took umbrage to. They started shouting back and Tabb showed the 2-1 score line in his fingers to the crowd. This riled the Town faithful and a mystery object flew out of the crowd and hit Tabb, who hit the deck as if blitzed by a Heavyweight boxer’s uppercut. 

Tabb heroically made it back up to his feet, and walked off round the pitch having been substituted, and was showing his torso to the Huddersfield fans, whilst reminding them of the score. With seconds remaining in the game, Town equalised and then moments later grabbed a winner, in a pulsating match. And the object that hit Tabb, well it was that most dangerous of weapons, a smarties lid thrown by a child.

Right Midfield Peter Beagrie

Now he is an absolutely woeful pundit, dull and arguable less insightful than the wheels on Andy Townsend’s tactics truck, but as a player he was even more annoying.

His Leeds and Bradford connections were never going to make him particularly popular with Huddersfield fans, but the fact that when ever we played Scunthorpe he would play an absolute blinder, despite the fact he was close to 40, and always cap of performance with a goal and that bloody somersault celebration. I was so delighted when he finally retired, and could no longer haunt us anymore.  

Central Midfield Richie Wellens

Now Richie Wellens is a very good player at lower league level, but he is an absolute pain in the backside. Screaming, pointing, getting the face of the referee and basically annoying the fans of the opposition team. The fact that he’s pretty useful just makes all this far more annoying and him all the more dislikable.

Striker Keigan Parker

No player could ever be as good as Parker thought he was, and that just made him intensely dislikeable. He was a cocky little poser, with a daft haircut beard combo and one good season in his career.

Some ability and decent pace couldn’t make up for his clear deficiencies as a man and his attitude was pretty awful. Now where he deserves to be, well you could argue that they haven’t done enough wrong to deserve him, plying his trade in non league Fleetwood Town.

Striker Paul Hayes

Now Hayes was a "Big-time Charlie", who had ability but was incredibly lazy with it. As part of the Barnsley side which beat Huddersfield in the play off semi final in the 05-06 season, it was the way Hayes took the penalty that restored parity on that most agonising of nights that made him so dislikable. Now blast a penalty, or put it deep in the corner is fine, but to calmly side foot it as if you were Maradona really rubs salt into the wound. Full marks to him for being so lackadaisical about a vital moment in a football match but it just made me despise him. 

Striker Lee Trundle

Another show boater and a pain in the backside with it, Trundle was always a thorn in the side of Huddersfield defences, and with his various flicks and tricks he made himself hugely unpopular at the Galpharm Stadium.

The shoulder roll he performed was a great bit of skill but it wound up Peter Jackson so much that I thought they’d come to blows. Again he was a match winner, and a lower league player who acted as if he was a world cup winner, even designing his own clothing line.  

A hugely overrated player though, who fully appeared to believe the hype, which to me made him pretty dislikable.

Manager Martin Allen

Horrible football, tedious man, never seen a team so wound up and dirty as his Brentford side, he is the archetypal lower league manager.

Charlie asked for his team to be put in a West Ham kit, he didn't like the colour combination, but admitted that could equally apply to Aston Villa or Scunthorpe. Unfortunately, this is the best that I could do.......

Previous Dislikable XIs:

No. 3 - 9-Men
No. 4 - William Abbs
No. 5 - Goaltastic
Up next: Phil Lupton

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